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Hello, helloooo~

It’s been a while since I posted something that was NOT a review or book-related, but I needed to vent, and what better way than writing out my rant?

Here’s a quick question before I begin: how many of you have been treated badly because you said something online, in a completely sarcastic and/or humorous way, and someone got offended? Speaking of which, those of you who can get pissed off easily and find cussing and vulgar language offensive, can very well leave now. The door’s that way *points at a random direction*

Two days or so ago, I was a victim of such behavior, and believe me when I say, it was the worst. Not in a way where I felt bullied and I ended up crying or something. No. I would never give them the satisfaction of falling that low.

But it still bugs me how I have to filter my words when I’m online as well. I deal with this shit in my offline life. I have to censor anything that comes out of my mouth. Because I’m dealing with children and toddlers and that’s really not a good example for them. Because those older than me find it “ugly” for a young lady to cuss or throw innuendos in any kind of situation. Because those who are my age cringe and scowl, feeling that my way of speaking or making jokes is too vulgar for them.

I can’t have that in my online life, too. I write online to express myself freely, to take all my anger and frustration and weirdness out on the internet. I can’t be censored and reported and ganged up on even here. It’s too much for someone like me.

Let me give you some details on what brought all of this since I’ve been very vague till now. Two days ago, a girl posted something on a KPop FB page (yes, I’m a fan of korean pop, deal with it). It was about an idol looking a little harshly towards the camera. She commented something about his face, that he looked like he wanted to beat/hit us (the viewers behind the camera/screen, in other words). Now, those of you who know me, who read my reviews and see my comments on fictional men and stuff, who understand my perfect inability to ignore such a chance for sex-related humor, will KNOW that what I’m about to say was completely meant as a joke.

I commented the way I would have commented had it been for a book boyfriend of my harem, or a secondary character I find sexy as hell. I said something along the lines of “yes, please” (not in the mood to translate from Greek right now, as I’m still fuming, but it was a bit longer than that!) and posted a photo comment, picturing a girl bent over and saying “I’ve been a very bad girl and I need to be spanked”.

And the war began.

I have seen my fair share of haters – I turn my back on all of them, so they can watch my fabulous ass in envy and blow it kisses from afar. Haters don’t scare me. I actually pity them. But ignorance? Yeah, that shit scares the crap out of me. Ignorance and stupidity are things I find annoying at the very least, and I consider them worse than the plague. Seriously, I fear they might be contagious – and I’m often tempted to act like dear Sherlock on the matter, but I hold myself back heroically.

According to those ignorant little girls, I was rude and disrespectful towards the idol. I’m also officially considered a horny slut in the group now, one who hasn’t had sex in a very long while, so she projects her sexual needs to men by speaking like this.

If my dear book harem heard of this, they would laugh their manly, Alpha asses off! Mainly because they share the same opinion with me on the matter of stupidity and how it shouldn’t exist – and also because they’re all sociopaths to the extreme and would highly consider hitting those people on the head with something heavy in case there’s SOME brain left in there to finally function.

Let me break their whole argument down in points to prove how FOOLISH it sounds:

  • If I needed sex that badly, I would be out there hunting for suitors and lovers, not in the safety of my room, reading and reviewing and listening to music. Unlike SOME of those pathetic people, I actually like my own company, and am in no way an outcast who dreams of one day marrying an idol – nor am I delusional, thank you very much.
  • I will NEVER meet that guy in person, so I would never tell him that I would like a good spanking – and even if I did meet him, I think I would be too busy trying NOT to be an awkward mess because, yeah, sociopath right here, I don’t really like dealing with people personally. So the chances I would ever get to say such a thing to his face would be less than 0%.
  • I joke about sex a lot! That doesn’t mean I would actually enjoy all those things I comment. In reality, if a guy ever dared slap ANY part of me – yes, even my butt – I would probably kick his nuts. Again, chances of me saying that to a guy in general, let alone a kpop singer? NONE!
  • When you see someone whose FB username has the title “Perversius” in it, be damn sure they ARE going to throw innuendos like nobody’s business! If you don’t like it, scroll down – LIKE EVERY OTHER SMART ADULT WHENEVER THEY SEE SOMETHING THEY DON’T LIKE!
  • In a page where everyone keeps shipping some possibly straight men with each other, HOW is ONE comment of spanking offensive to one’s aesthetic views? I mean, I have nothing against homosexuality (yaoi – meaning boy on boy in anime/manga –  fangirl here, yup, today’s the day you’re all gonna learn ALL my fandom preferences it seems), so it’s not about assuming two men are hot for each other. It’s about believing FANATICALLY (a word and notion I hate) that once a guy is a kpop idol, he must ABSOLUTELY be gay. I’m fine with it when they come out and say it themselves. If not, I’m still fine with people assuming it. What I’m NOT fine with is being bullied for ONE comment on spanking in a group where almost every member keeps posting and commenting about (pardon the following French) men who like taking it up the you-know-what. Again, I’m fine with that – but that puts you in NO position to judge MY comment and call ME crude! Because, darling, you’re as perverted as I am, I’m just being more honest with myself and an open sinner, while you’re acting out the saint card, and frankly, this is sad and pathetic. If not hypocritical.
  • I refuse to accept the reason that “there are kids and underage people in the group so she should be more careful with her words”. Call me old-fashioned, but I wasn’t allowed anywhere near social media till I turned 18! If your parents are that uncaring to let you roam freely in cyber space, then that’s not my problem. I will not be silenced just because you can’t handle adult words – which, by the way, are spoken more often than not in schoolyards and hallways (I should know, I finished school a while ago, and there was not a student alive in there who did not talk like a sailor, even us, the ones with the top grades, the nerds, so I’m sure most of the younger generations do it, too). You can’t tell me it’s the first time you’ve heard of spanking, or that you were offended by that in a group that, AGAIN, discusses sex quite freely. What, as long as it’s between idols it’s OK and it becomes ugly if one mentions someone else with them? Is that the problem? Grow. Up! If you’re that young that you can’t handle such things, then you’re in the wrong place! You should be studying or playing outside or online, whatever.

We live in a world where freedom of speech seems to become more of a utopia each passing year. Every new generation comes baring teeth and claws, brandishing weapons and insults, getting offended with every little thing we might say or do. Instead of moving forward, we take huge leaps backwards! Unless the other person’t humor and attitude and opinions are the same as ours, we become judges AND executioners – we become like the “others”, the ones who also scorn and bully us. And the worst part is, not only do we see nothing wrong with all this, we even justify our actions.

Bullying someone for their humor – online or offline – is not okay. Neither is it fair. When what’s being said doesn’t agree with you, the simplest and most peaceful way to deal with it is move past and go your own way – unless it’s being forced down your throat, in which case feel free to do some proper ass-kicking. Don’t silence them – silence is the worst thing one can do to a human being.

Don’t make them feel what I felt today – scrolling through my FB page and fearing to comment on any post. That fear, right there? It brought me to tears, and even now as I write it I feel ready to cry. It wasn’t the haters or the ones ganging up on me that made me feel down. It was what they accomplished. They made me scared. Scared to express myself the way I want, scared to crack a joke for fear of being offensive, scared to say anything because I was suddenly self-conscious about every little word of mine. I pride myself on my humor and my sarcasm and the way I can rant about anything and make others laugh, and I had lost it for a couple of minutes there.

I had to actually slap myself to stop my hands from shaking and the tears from spilling. To remind myself that this was not me.

I refuse to be silenced. I refuse to be censored. I refuse to be told what to say and how to act or joke around.

And for all of you who have felt this terrible feeling before? Ignore them! Don’t let them shape you into what’s convenient for them. Because once you do, it’s game over.

~ Lydia ~